Faces of Red

Hmmm, on my DJ final exam, I listed my show as "Terra Cotta <something or other>". But I never used that. Following are show titles and alter egos I have used over the years, not including the myriad spangled appelations that surfaced especially for substitutions and similar special situations.

at WRCT, 88.33 FM Pittsburgh

  • Moonbase Alpha with Mission Control (Fall '87 - Spring '88)
    Named after that ill fated lunar outpost/nuclear waste dump. That was slated for 1999. Darn big-science porkbarrel projects, never bringing us the future on time.

    Mostly new-wave, 4ad with a little experimental. I think it was Tues 9-mid the first quarter, and then Weds mid-3am, but I could be wrong. The very first show was about 12 hours long because there was no one after me and I was having so much fun and the next morning's DJ was late. This was the only year I regularly had friends hanging out in the studio while I did my show, and the only year I had regular weirdo callers.

  • Aural Hygene with Mental Floss (Fall '88)
  • Aural Decay with Headrot (Spring '89)
    "Headrot" was a character in one of my brother's student films, "To Wax the Legless Bug." I got to play that part! Or at least I inspired it. The story sums up my attitude towards the Afterlife quite well... I'll see if I can get a 'lectronic copy 4u.
  • ???? (Fall '89 - Spring '90)
    This was the boringest year of my adult life, and I can't even remember what I called my show. But this was the year I came up with Red West & decided to stick with it... thought something should remain constant so people who liked me could find me on a schedule.

    That year I watched Wild Wild West on many a late night. One day in the credits I saw one of the bit parts was played by "Red West." That name's so obviously fake, I thought, I just have to use it! Thus Red West was born.

    The name had many associations I liked (and still do), not only to James West but also a long line of illustrious Reds... Red Scoville, Red Sovine, Red Skelton, Red Foxx...

    Wait, I remember now. How could it have slipped my mind?

  • Nought with Not Here (fall 1989)
    Hi, I'm Not Here...
    (and this stuff I'm doing is all for Nought)

    Probably the height of my free-form radio mix. My first year I did a bit of story reading & monologues, this year saw cheezy 8-bit DSP, mega feedback loopiness, and creative use of studio equipment. Wish I had been taping my shows back then.

  • Lloyd is Not Here with Tim and Nought Ear (Spring 1990)
    Arguably my best semster ever! A five hour extraviganza with Timothee "Lloyd" Parker. His real middle name begins with D., but back then I thought it should have been Lloyd. Actually, at the beginning, I barely knew him. I just knew that there was this DJ who always played great music that I'd nver heard before, so at the organizational meeting I asked him if he'd do a show with me. We combined our two three hour slots into a five hour extravaganza. And we rooled!

    Fall '90, no radio, I spend a semester in London! and get lots of great records for subsequent shows, including some I've searched for for years. Well the music part was only a tiny portion of the trip but the rest is personal so there.

  • Music to Make Young Teens Horny (Spring '91)
    I return to the US and the FCC is being such an asshole! I name my show in protest. Obscenity is anything without social merit that appeals to the purient interest, so if I could find some sound that gave my listeners NHOs, I'd be in big trouble. My idealized goal was to find some instrumental that would drive everyone into a sexual frenzy.
  • Kiss (Fall '91)
    and kiss I did. mmmm...
  • Spring '92 ???
  • This is what seventeen years of school has done to me. (Fall '92)
    End of my school career. The title is self-expanitory.
  • ??? (Summer '92)
    My farewell semester, my only regular summer slot at 'rct, and I cannot recall their names
  • Miette(Summer '96)
    So, I've had all week to think of show titles, but I forget to check this page for the "future ideas" and it's Thurs night and I have to hand in my show proposal Friday morning. Oh well. I see "City of Lost Children" that night, like the character Miette, and figure I could do a lot worse than naming my show after her. Voila. it was a good show-- very nice not having to do one while groggy!--- but very, very chaotic, not helped by all the road-trip induced absences.
  • at KZSU, 90.1FM Stanford

  • The Fire and the Furry (Spring 94)
    Yes, that is as in fur, not as in furious.
    We all have desire for the fur and the fire, forever, amen.
  • Fetid Oleo Pizza (Summer 94)
    From a Severed Heads lyric. And one of my favorite show titles.
  • Tesla Radio (Fall 94)
    Tag line, "Test the West". From a Czech utility and a cheezy European ad campaign.

    Winter of '94 is my Mega-Finland-Baltic Tour

  • Eeek Et Ops Aiyiyiyiyi (???)
    This has to be pronounced properly for the right effect. Also a favorite title.

    No show Spring '95, very busy at work. There's a show missing somewhere... Wait, I had a quarter called "Objective: Matrimony" (from Harry Partch's number one hit, Barstow) which must have been a failure since I still don't have that band of gold...

  • ??? (Summer 95)
    I had a really hard time remembering what I called my show this quarter, and then remembered why. It changed every week.
  • red yellow blue yellow(Fall '95)
    Inspired by Jasper Johns. I *loved* that painting. Saw it in London 1990...
  • The Illegible Bachelor(2nd quarter '97)
    stripped bare by her bridesmaids, even.
    This was going to be the "Inelegible Bachelor", but at the last minute I realized "Illegible" was much more honest. The original reasoning was that the unattainable is so attractive: advertise that I'm unavailable, and listeners will swoon. But, my handwriting is terrible, and I speak like I write, and "Illegible" makes for a more interesting title, so there it is.
  • The Secret Deadly Vampire's Secretly Deadly Frog(Summer '98)
    Title of a song from the best unreleased record I've ever heard, by Pittsburgh's own Telecorps. A great shame that 99-track 10" never came out.
  • Pop Pariahs(Summer 1999, weds 3-6pm)
    u cant touch this. untouchable.
  • One Hour With Me(Spring 2000, thurs noon-3pm)
    rock out with your clock out
    where'd the other two hours go? the twilight zone?

    The setting: The corner outside KZSU's production studio, Wednesday night, March 19th 2000. It's after the "Org Meeting" and in my hands is a show application. I haven't thought of a name and I'm having trouble. "User Error"? That describes my show pretty well... perhaps "Happy Accident" is better. yes. Serendipity plays a part in every show. Then Smurph tells me there's a band called Happy Accident. I don't want to name my show after a band, even if they have broken up. Colin (not a DJ that quarter) pipes up, "why not buck tradition, and call it 'Three Hours with Me?'" He didn't mean it that literally, but the idea stuck. Changed it a bit for dada. One hour with me, two hours with --- ?
  • Flagrant Tone Bouquet(Summer 2000, mon 9am-noon)
    bloomin' in yer face.
  • Plug In The Drain(Winter 2001, mon noon-3pm)
    Is that a ball of hair in there? Or a command to electrify the sink?
    Will water still swirl down the drain once the earth stops spinning?
    or will we need electric sinks?
  • Unpluggin' The Drain(Spring 2001, mon noon-3pm)
    Same timeslot as before, keep draining the plugs. By summer's start the drain flew swiftly.
    From the program guide: Rock & noise. Guitars, drums, vibraphones, keyboards in popular-music styles. Short songs to get you worked up, long ones to relax by. Thrift store, omnivore, who's the music whore.
  • The Awesome Power of a Fully Operational DJ(Summer 2001, mon noon-3pm)
    here at your pleasure to colorize your leasure
    i'm on r U?
    From the program guide: A music junkie desperate for a better fix. A show made effective by exploiting the defective. A spirit moves in media libraries. Obscure improvised experiments, old top forty hits, kids wailing on their secondhand guitars- it's all here.
  • Come when I whistle(Summer 2002, mon noon-3pm)
    and beg when I say "beg".
    You will listen!
    From the last line of "Insolent Pup" by Thee Headcoatees, you have to hear the 7" version for the full effect.
  • This is what 15 years of radio has done to me(Fall 2002, mon noon-3pm)
    ..and what I've done to the radio for fifteen years!
    My first radio show was September 1987- time for a retrospective. Also a tip of the hat to the Fall '92 show.
  • Radio Red Well(Summer 2003, mon noon-3pm)
    This was almost Red Radio or Well Read Radio- both good names, maybe I'll use them later... I didn't have enough ego to be simply "Red Radio" and don't read enough to call myself well read... but what I read, I read well enough, and can read the radio. And I also think of an old brick well. Maybe a wishing well. Maybe with a radio at the bottom. Or the red well could be an allusion to something else entirely.
  • Pthbrp Kgbdstftftsspktp you can say that again! (Winter 2003, tue 3-5pm semiweekly)
    It's not so hard to say once you figure out how to speak without vowels. Go syllable by syllable for each word- this is a valuable lesson and will help you pronounce the nonsense you encounter for the rest of your life-
    1. Pthbrp
      1. Pth is like pith without the i. Purse your lips together to make a "p", when the pop open your toungue should already be between your teeth to make the "th"- like hissing with a lisp. (Is that called hithing?)
      2. brp is like burp without the u. Or is that like brap without the a? Practice and they'll both sound the same soon enough.
    2. Kgbdstftftsspktp
      1. Kgbdst makes your toungue do fun things. The "st" gives it a bit of a break and sounds nice with the next part.
      2. ftfts think fit fits without the letter i. You blow out making the "f" and stop the air with your toungue on you pallete behind your teeth to make the "t". After the second one hiss an "s" to seague into the grand finale-
      3. spktp lots of fun to say this one! Speak it up without any vowels.
    This was a fun show. First time doing every other week, giving me more time to accumilate great music between shows, and first time doing two hours regularly, so I stressed about playing everything I wanted to.
  • Meat Man Whistle Punching Sex Contest (Early 2004, mon noon-3pm) sign me up!
    There was a short-lived Pittsburgh band that had a lot of trouble naming themselves. They went through "Whistle", "Meat", "Man Sex" and "Punching Contest"... and as a joke the WRCT MD combined all those and sent it to CMJ as the authors of the hit record "The sound of a brick hitting the head of a CMJ reviewr". Another variation became a name for my one-night-stand Talerama I band, and this quarter's show.
  • The Cold Clammy Hand of Friendship (Spring 2004) I'm always touched by your presence, dear.
    there is a story to this title but I don't want to get into it now.
    Did a number of "substitute" shows the summer between this and Dross which all sounded "better than usual" to me.
  • Dross (Winter 2004) Tues night/Weds morn The high art of apathy.
    Midnight-6am. my overabundant disinterest frightened our program director into sending me into the lunar rotation. Oh well. My regular show went until 3am with Goodnight Moon taking over the second half.
  • ya aulde Devil's Collective with co-DJ Mor (Early 2005) Tues 2-5pm blood, blood, I'm covered in blood! Blood, blood, I'm covered in blood! Ah ha ha ha hah ha
    Shared a show, sometimes alternating, often co-hosting. A pop massacre.
  • Eels in the Loo (Fall 2005) Wednesdays 9am-noon Rock & Roll, Tilt & Tumble, Pop, Corny music.
    Ah, one of my favorite show titles. Little slimy things peeping up at nethers.
  • America's Least Wanted (Spring 2006) Average & Flawed Tunes. The schoolkids are singing, run!
    Bagpipes, musical saw, folkie outtakes, children's chiors, this tape my friends made back in the '90s and other sounds best left forgotten. Cover your ears, the 5th grade chorus is at it again...
  • Municipal Waste (Late 2006) Taking out the trash after PACC
    The usual garbage.
  • I <3 Life & Yr Callous Neglect/Refusal (Late 2007) Joyful in the face of adversity.
    Semi-weekly weakly wrecked records.
  • The Wonder Girls of Canada (Early 2008) thanks to Anne of Green Gables
    Here I started one-two hour blocks of the same song, different versions.
  • Oatmeal (Summer 2008)
    bland
  • Hand Wash in Cole Slaw (Early 2009)
    Named for an erroneous clothing tag, photographed and published on engrish.com
  • The Heart of KZSU (Spring 2009)
    I'm on the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, for six hours (only playing music for 4, babysitting talk shows the rest of the time). And I'm playing all newly-added-to-KZSU music, instead of my own, so it's very KZSU.
  • Ideas for the future...

    Au revior, mes amis.

    Within these shows, whosoever was a friend, him have I surely protected; whosoever was hostile, him have I utterly destroyed. By the grace of Ahuramazda these shows have conformed to my decrees; as it was commanded unto them by me, so was it done.

    they call the windbag Mariah